so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
