last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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