"it" just moved
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
