what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
