hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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