Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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