Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ketchup is God's man juice
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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