That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
