i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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