I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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