The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I'm really busy with my period
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