No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
