Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
