He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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