sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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