nut hugger
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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