i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
