Nicole vs. Life
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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