Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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