if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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