Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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