im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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