he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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