i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
