I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
