Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
