How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
