got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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