i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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