just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
