whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
