I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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