Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
