Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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