OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He passed out mid-signature
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
