I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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