Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
