you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
