That's when you crack a 10am beer
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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