Got a toothbrush?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize