Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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