I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
