I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
