I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize