wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
