We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
