This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
