i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
