Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
