she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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