those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
