that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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