Swine flu. Run for my life!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
