Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
