My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
