we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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