a queef is a wish your heart makes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
