I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
