don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you had me at cake vodka
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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