I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
