Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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