If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
