Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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