Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize