I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
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Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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