I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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