Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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