Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
