I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize