arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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