Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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