i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
